Evil Ride

Human turned up at her normal time. I came in with her to find Frank had gone out to play with some friends.
I went in my room for a munch while human faffed about. She seemed very pleased about something.
I got dressed to take her out and yet again we set off in the direction of "over the road". Things started to go wrong pretty quickly.
At the first junction as we were approaching we could hear a car coming. Human asked me to stand still and it's just as well we did. It flew round the corner cutting the corner off as it turned right onto the road we were on. If I hadn't stopped we would have been wiped out. The woman driver scowled at us in disgust.Yes we know who the driver is. She doesn't like us horses and has had a few run ins with the horsey humans.
We carried on. There was a gardener with a trailer full of gardenery stuff. I snorted at that as we passed it and did some very (if I do say so myself) wonderful dressagey moves.
Onto the busy scary road. Several huge lorries today came past scarily close but that doesn't bother me. Just as we were about to do our right turn across the road a man at the bus stop raised his walking stick at me.....human said he was just being nice and greeting us. Didn't look that way to me. Brought back memories of that horrid stick man from times past. I did the all four hooves thing. Human said it was fine and we carried on across the road as soon as it was safe.
The white van was parked by the field with horses in. Human said to be careful there was a man the other side of it that I couldn't see. She shouted hi to him but he never replied and warned me that he might pop out from behind the van. It was a bit of a squeeze to get passed but we managed it.
I had to stop for a toilet break just after that.
Onwards towards the space centre. Just as we turned the corner I felt human tense up. Uh oh the hellychopper was out in the yard. Not 20yds from the bridlepath. I do hope it's not going anywhere.
It didn't and we got passed that, onto the track with the big yellow plants all down it. Human was rather stroppy when I wanted to go back home but it was ok.
Eventually we turned round and started to head back home. Yeah this is more like it human. I set off at a cracking trot. Oh no.....is that the pilot getting into the hellychopper? Bloody hell it is. Human jumped off smartish just as he started the damn thing. The whirly blades didn't start up until we were round the corner. When it was safe (in humans mind) she hauled herself back on. Very pleased with herself she was too. I am pleased no one could see her it certainly wasn't elegant.
We had a wee canter and a turbo-trot on the grassy bit.
Oh heck what now? Only two staffie looking dogs racing towards us. No sign of an owner anywhere and we can see a long way from that point. Yet again human jumped of smartish.
The dogs as it happened didn't really bother me much, they wanted to run round by my back legs. Not really adviseable doggyroos.
When they had carried on their merry way human again hauled herself very inelegantly back on and we made our way back home. Human was VERY tense by this time so I had to be careful to look after her ok.
It was a relief to see Archie doing his "try to scare the horse" thing. That didn't bother human at all.
When we got in I got my breakfast with extra carrot for being so good to human. Then it was on with the nightie and the perfume and back out to the field. Humans hands were still shaking.
I do hope we don't have another ride like that again any time soon.
Whatever would human do without me to take care of her?